Are you a Hipster...or a Douche?

hipster [ˈhɪpstə]

n

1. (Music) Slang, now rare.

a. an enthusiast of modern jazz.

b. an outmoded word for hippy.

2. (Clothing & Fashion) (modifier) (of trousers) cut so that the top encircles the hips.

One day, whilst drinking a nice cold alcoholic beverage in Shoreditch, I noticed a lot of people suddenly wearing black plastic framed glasses. Then I noticed that many of these people did not appear to be wearing any prescription lenses in said glasses. This bothered me for some reason. What business is it of mine? I decided that it was totally my business as I must share oxygen with these people, and so do you! Why would someone want to use eyeglasses as a fashion accessory? It seemed, at the very least, utterly pointless and strange. At the very most it was pretentious and outright ridiculous! This must be an insult to the optically challenged at the very least. I asked my next door bar stool neighbor what this person thought they were doing and his reply was,

“It's only a Shoreditch Twat hipster, ignore em!”

So I decided to do the opposite, I talked to him. And, then I talked to someone else. And, then I talked to about a dozen people and decided I needed to know more.

In researching what a hipster is, I did my usual homework. I read Wikipedia, a few articles and blogs and at that point the textual research portion of my research reached it's conclusion. I needed to get out there and talk to the people, the humanoids, the so-called hipster on the street, and get their point of view. So I went to Camden and Hoxton and I talked to everyone who I perceived to fill the profile of the hipster.

I'm well aware of the type, as I have come across the Toronto hipster before. I'm from Toronto by the by, and the London animal, though a very breed, from the outside anyway, is not quite the same. They look the same, sure, they are sporting the same Buddy Holly glasses, with or without prescriptions, and they painstakingly attempt to look effortlessly hip and cool. Some succeed and some do not. Almost always in Toronto, the hipster lives on the fringe of what one might call, polite society. I understand these people. They are the cooks, the bartenders, the musicians, the barista, the downtown shop worker, the tattoo artist and so on. I am these people!

I for some time thought that I might be a hipster myself. I am a very struggling writer of fiction. I have no profession as such to speak of, unless you happen to count penniless under-published writer who jumps from job to job like a mercenary. I have Sailor Jerry tattoos. I play guitar. I wear black Chuck Taylor all-stars, black jeans and white t-shirts. The evidence was starting to pile up and I was getting afraid, very afraid! All of these things, in Toronto, would qualify me, perhaps, to be a counterculture-esque person, what I thought to be the elusive hipster. But here...the similarities began to end.

I like rock and roll, rockabilly and various other kinds of music. But, I feel that the Hipster is not a Rockabilly and vice-versa. Some may blur the line and have a baby toe in both worlds, but the true London hipster, or what the current definition of a hipster is, is a completely different animal.

For one, London hipsters care about fashion. They really do. They check the magazines for the latest rends, be it clothing or haircut. They “buy” what the hipster establishment is selling, all while attempting to pass off being anti-establishment with a cheeky holier than though douche-baggery.

The word hipster, as I stated at the beginning of this article, comes from a time and place in history and has a meaning. The current hipster, though they would not claim to be one, are stealing the meaning of this word. I think that the word hipster is a cool word that should only be used for people who really deserve it.

If you live with your parents...you are not a hipster! If you work in “the city” during the day and cos-play rockabilly at night, you are not a hipster! Just because you have a look that may associate you with a certain subculture, you are not necessarily a card carrying member. There is a word for someone who dresses as something they are not. That word is “poser”. If you do not live it, you are wearing a costume. If you dress like Dracula at Halloween, that does not make you undead! So if you are a hipster based solely on your look, you are not one.

Friends who are musicians and poor writers and artists and political activists and cooks, people who do not read fashion blogs or care what David Beckhams new hairstyle looks like. You're posers kids. Get your mum to buy all the Ramones t-shirts and skinny jeans you like, but it won't be any good. We can spot you in a crowd and we know who you are! The real people, who don't have a name, but live it everyday, they see you!