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| Yeah, they love Grey Goose Vodka! |
Is
it just me, or does nobody give a shit about fur anymore? I remember a time in
the 90’s that if you wore a fur coat, sploosh,
you got a face full of red paint by some hippie. Not only that, but your
bitchin’ fur coat would get fucked up!
Nowadays,
Kanye and Snoop wear fur and nobody says a goddamn thing about it really, apart
from PETA. Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against PETA, and I believe
they have their place and do some good in the world. But in another way, they
are a bit like ‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf.’ They kick up a stink about every
little thing and it starts to become white noise. They need to choose their
battles a little more. Sure, save the whales and make sure animals aren’t
abused. But I’ve got to say; I couldn’t care less about a jellyfish, cat or a
rat. If you want to eat those, I say, go mental. There are loads of them and
they aren’t going anywhere. I am being told that we should not eat cats…I stand
corrected. Other than that I stand by what I have said!
When
in comes to fur, as it relates to clothing, I guess people are too busy
worrying about climate change, Wills and Kate, the Olympics, David Beckham,
something Jeremy Clarkson said, phone tapping, Afghanistan and to a (much)
lesser extent, Greece. I seem to recall that I myself used to be against fur…at
least I think I was? It’s hard to remember now what with the years of boozing
and let’s say, extra curricular activities. I remember when I was a bright-eyed
youth living in Tokyo in my early twenties and tried to be a vegetarian. I’d
heard that Paul McCartney was one and I am a huge Beatles nerd so I decided to
give it a go. But then he married that woman, you know the one I mean, that
pirate broad. It was then that I realised that sure, this guy wrote a few good
songs back in the day, but he is clearly just some idiot like me. Not that I
ever married a pirate, but I have definitely been with some scurvy dogs.
Speaking
of dogs, what the hell is a chinchilla? Anybody have a clue? Would you know one
if it ran past you? Is it a dog? The simple answer is, no. Basically, they are
giant mice that are from South America. If you said you had a jacket or a stole
made out of mice, they would fucking lock you up! The Walk Disney corporation
would sue your ass and/or make you disappear from the face of the earth. I’m
telling you, they bloody well would. Those dicks will sue you for anything. And
by dicks, I of course mean private detectives…yes…that’s the ticket…I mean… I
myself love Mickey Mouse and all that shit and…et cetera. Are we cool
Walt?
Anyway,
what was I saying? Oh yeah, if you wore a Mickey
Mouse stole, people would think you were mad! They might say,
“Hey,
that person is mad!”
Or
something to that effect. And what about the mink? As in the mink coat. You’ve
heard of that. But what is it? Have you ever seen a mink running up your drive?
They are like an otter or a weasel, or a combination of the two. Much like an
Ewok I would like to think, though I’m no scientist. Would you really wear that
cute little fuzzball that was a bit gay for Han Solo’s leg? I mean, what kind
of monster are you?
On
the flip side, it you wear a Chinese raccoon dog coat like Jay Zed, then hey,
it’s cool. He’s married to Beyonce so it must be fine, yeah? He’s got 99
problems but a “bitch” ain’t one. See what I did there? I meant the dog…
In
essence, my point, if I have one, is this; why do we use these specific
animals, and a few more I’ve not mentioned, for fur coats and other clothes?
They seem to be animals that we rarely see. Is this done on purpose I wonder?
Are we as humans, in this day and age, not able to live alongside our clothes?
Is it because they are coats that we don’t see them, or do we not want to see
them, because they are our clothes? Are we ashamed that we use these animals
for fashion, and others like a cute puppy dog, or a fluffy kitty cat, we do
not. Have you seen a baby chinchilla? They are cute as fuck man! Do you have a
leather jacket? Maybe. Do you have a cocker spaniel vest? Not likely.
Think about it. Now, I am no vegetarian and I do own a leather jacket. Do I
agree with fur…hmm, I guess not. Am I going to do anything about it…man, who
has the energy anymore?
